In which our heroine becomes employed

In my “welcome back to my life” post I mentioned that I got a job. What follows is a brief accounting of that using lessons I’ve learned after 2 months on the job…

This agreement (the “Agreement”) is between the mysterious, confusing, terrible, and wonderful thing that keeps everything in order, or in disarray, or in some variation thereof (“Life”) and the incredibly charming and dazzling person behind this blog (“Kate”) in connection with the transition from hopeful job seeker to Closing Coordinator. (Kate may be referred to as “Dreamer”, “Job Seeker”, or “Heroine” herein.) 

Whereas, the Dreamer moved across the country carrying only a suitcase and a backpack;

Whereas the Dreamer someday aspires to own enough stuff to fill more than one suitcase and one backpack;

Whereas the weary Dreamer completed countless job applications, nearly all from the living room/dining room table of a purple apartment in Spain;

Whereas the Dreamer received countless rejections, some in the form of thank-you-but-no-thank-you emails, most in the form of agonizing silence;

Whereas the Dreamer obtained an apartment…in the Bay Area;

Whereas the Bay Area is one of the most expensive areas in the US to rent;

Whereas the hopeful Job Seeker finally went for an interview, not once but twice;

Whereas the impatient Job Seeker waited;

And waited;

And waited, (while receiving another automated rejection letter);

Whereas the Job Seeker finally heard those three wonderful words: we want you!

Whereas the relieved and excited Dreamer did a mix of soccer mom shimmies and Elaine kicks (the “Happy Dance”);

Now therefore, the Heroine hereby acknowledges and agrees to the following:
1. The Heroine is happily gainfully employed.
2. The Heroine shall join the masses on BART, hopped up on coffee, and a book in hand
3. The Heroine shall perform such actions, including but not limited to, drafting legal agreements, reviewing title reports, and writing escrow instructions
4. The Heroine shall bill for her time, because she is worth it. (In connection with billing, the Heroine shall also do a Happy Dance, because the Happy Dance is  worth it.) 
5. The Heroine shall again have money for important things like travel, food and coffee

In the event that the Heroine becomes discontent in the Agreement, Heroine must take it up with Life and return to the tedious process of submitting job applications that will never be read. 

In witness whereof, Kate and Life have executed the Agreement as of the date of first employment. 

Kate

Life

Yeah, it went something like that. Now if you’ll excuse me, this post was all about work so I really must go bill for it. Cue the Happy Dance.